Breaking up with Ana

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been lucky enough to go home and see my family! It gave me a lot of time to reflect on my eating habits and my mood in general. Unfortunately, within the first week of being home, I broke up with my boyfriend, which sent my emotions all over the place. However...I am not going to go into detail on that haha. I was able to talk to some close friends about how I was feeling and how I felt as though my mood and eating habits has regressed since the breakup. I was told and ensured that this was a totally expected reaction. This blog post is not about the past two weeks though, they are over and done with so there is no point dwelling on it. :) On Tuesday, I have my assessment for the specialist eating disorder treatment. This is being done in order to see what type of treatment will work best for me. After reading about the place that I am going to and what my options could be, I have managed to scare myself to the point that I get shaky and become over...

So far, I've only really been positive on this blog, but these past 2 weeks haven't been all that groovy, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you that recovery is always easy...because it isn't. Relationships are a funny thing, whether it's a friendship, family relationship, or a romantic relationship. When living with an ED, you often do not realise how toxic you can be within relationships until someone tells you, or you see first hand for yourself. One thing I hate doing is upsetting people or letting people down. However, when your life become controlled by an ED, it is so easily done. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, there are certain personality traits that are common in people who live with Ana, or other ED's. One of these personality traits is that you become obsessed with wanting people to like you. I have this trait, and have done for as long as I can remember, and it can make me very needy. I always seek approval and attention in order to...