Breaking up with Ana

I had a blip. A 3 day blip. Not particularly proud of the blip, kind of blip. But still, I'm here to tell the tale and I'm now okay 😊 I just wanted to make a note of it to remind myself and others that recovery really isn't a straight line, and things can get really tricky. I'm still in a state of mind whereby I feel like I've failed a little bit, but that's because I'm a self confessed perfectionist and control freak when it comes to my recovery. When I was in the depths of anorexia, I always wanted to be the 'perfect anorexic' from the moment I got the label. Now I have been in recovery for a year and a half, I've wanted have the 'perfect recovery'.  Unfortunately this isn't realistic.  My therapist said to me today that most clinicians would be worried if their clients started recovery and never had a blip or a lapse. So I guess my recovery is normal in their eyes?  I don't re...

"When everything feels like an uphill battle, just think of the view from the top" Because your life can be revolved around LIVING and not around food/eating/body image Because life is about so much more than the number of calories on your plate Because you can go out and enjoy social events with friends/family Because you’ll no longer be causing pain to other people, but even more importantly yourself Because having an eating disorder is exhausting, and you need that energy for other things Because you can sit on a chair/ on the floor without being in pain Because your hair and nails will grow super long Because people will stop making comments when you eat  Because people will stop staring  Because you’ll be treated like an adult Because you won’t be cold ALL.THE.TIME Because you’ll be able to concentrate Because you’ll be able to get through university  Because you’ll look and feel alive Because you deserve so much more ...