Why I'm not going to be 3 years sober

Through the 12-step program, sobriety = abstinence from your addiction.

Come January 7th, I should technically be "3 years sober". I've been thinking over the past year how comfortable I feel in using the term sober, because I certainly have not abstained from old eating disorder behaviours. I feel as though if I claim to be 3 years sober, it would ultimately be a lie. How can I write about it being okay to have blips and talk about the fact that recovery isn't linear, while at the same time talking about sobriety? It's dishonest and misleading.

I've decided that for me, I no longer want to use the term sober. It doesn't reflect the reality of recovery for me. So for now, 3 years in recovery is how I will approach January 7th. It'll be 3 years since I accepted that I had an eating disorder, 3 years since I started to give up control, and educated myself on the realities of what I was doing to myself and other people.

Recovery is so so hard. Especially during the current situation of the world. I'm trying to keep myself in recovery at the moment, and that's the reality of it. I'm not ashamed that I am finding it hard either, because it's okay to struggle - it shows that I am human.

Stay safe,

Be kind,

Look after your mind,

Dais xo

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