Breaking up with Ana

In today's society, body shaming is such a normal everyday thing, and this really frustrates me because people are just becoming immune to it. Admittedly, 'fat' shaming is more prevalent within society, but recently 'skinny' shaming has been on the rise.   Mostly, I come across 'skinny shaming' online. This is often done through people making comments on social media such as: 'Only dogs eat bones', calling people names such as 'twiggy', telling someone to 'eat a cheeseburger'. If this were the other way round, and people were making comments such as 'only dogs eat meat', or outright calling people fat, there would be absolute outrage from society! , However, for some reason, this is not the case when an individual skinny shames. A lot of people turn a blind eye to it and ignore that comments were ever made and this is SO wrong. Surely if calling someone 'fat' and is classed as a 'hate crime'. then calling so...

So post-ED assessment,  they re-diagnosed me with Anorexia Nervosa. Part of me was really hoping that they'd tell me that Ana is all in my head (ironic because it is) and that actually I was okay and didn't need to panic myself. But, it is what it is... After coming to terms with the re-affirmed diagnosis, I had a bit of a rough week and sunk into this deep depression, and it was scary. I've never really had 'suicidal' thoughts before, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Due to my mental state, it got to a point where I had to leave halls for a night- I wasn't coping and felt alone even though I had people around me. I went to stay at my grandmothers' so that I could think things through. While I was there she opened up to me about her past and it turns out that she was treated for severe depression and an ED while she was 7months pregnant with my uncle. I had no idea until then, but they used to treat mental illnesses with something...

Nearly a week ago, I went to my local specialist treatment centre for an assessment of my ED. I'm going to write about my experience of the assessment, and try to describe how I felt during it. On top of this, I will also try and give some advice to those of you who may have assessments in the future. The night before... The evening before the assessment was possibly one of the most terrifying evenings I have experienced in a long time. It seems completely irrational now that I was scared of getting help, but at the time I had so many fears. I wasn't told what my assessment would entail of, so I used the dreaded 'google'  to research what may happen, however this just added even more anxiety to my already prevalent worries. I knew that I had a couple of people around me who have been through the assessment progress before, so  I decided to ring one of them to ask questions and get my fears out in the open. This is seriously something I would suggest, even if yo...

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been lucky enough to go home and see my family! It gave me a lot of time to reflect on my eating habits and my mood in general. Unfortunately, within the first week of being home, I broke up with my boyfriend, which sent my emotions all over the place. However...I am not going to go into detail on that haha. I was able to talk to some close friends about how I was feeling and how I felt as though my mood and eating habits has regressed since the breakup. I was told and ensured that this was a totally expected reaction. This blog post is not about the past two weeks though, they are over and done with so there is no point dwelling on it. :) On Tuesday, I have my assessment for the specialist eating disorder treatment. This is being done in order to see what type of treatment will work best for me. After reading about the place that I am going to and what my options could be, I have managed to scare myself to the point that I get shaky and become over...

So far, I've only really been positive on this blog, but these past 2 weeks haven't been all that groovy, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you that recovery is always easy...because it isn't. Relationships are a funny thing, whether it's a friendship, family relationship, or a romantic relationship. When living with an ED, you often do not realise how toxic you can be within relationships until someone tells you, or you see first hand for yourself. One thing I hate doing is upsetting people or letting people down. However, when your life become controlled by an ED, it is so easily done. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, there are certain personality traits that are common in people who live with Ana, or other ED's. One of these personality traits is that you become obsessed with wanting people to like you. I have this trait, and have done for as long as I can remember, and it can make me very needy. I always seek approval and attention in order to...

I seem to have a small obsession with the stationary shop: Paperchase. I just feel like it's such a magical place, where all of your stationary needs and wishes come true. Over the years I have brought MANY things from Paperchase, and although this is incredibly tragic when it comes to my bank balance...my   rewards card is full of points! Anyways...A few weeks back I went into the magical land of Paperchase  and impulsively bought a meal planning book. It has Llamas on it...LLAMAS! When I got a chance to have a proper look at it, it really motivated me to plan my meals each week to ensure I was eating properly and keeping myself hydrated. So last week, I sat down by myself and wrote myself a meal plan for this week Mon-Fri. Within my plan were loads of healthy meals and snack that I do not feel guilty about eating. I'm now on day 4/5 of preparing meals that I have planned in advance, and I've tried my very hardest to cook my meals from scratch. Most of the meals I have ...

Hello cherubs, I thought I would post really quickly on what is actually quite a big subject. Recently I've been listening to lots of 'TED Talks' to help improve my mood and self awareness. I found this particular video a couple of days ago, and I believe and can relate to every single thing that is said in here. People forget that there are so many more things important than appearance. The only negative I would give on this video is that it only focuses on females, but this is just as relevant to males. Daisy May xo Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you