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Allowing frustraion, worries, and overprotection

Friends in recovery are so important, and are really vital in helping you maintain your recovery, but sometimes it can get really suffocating, and difficult. 

I remember when I got back from inpatient treatment and joined a new university cohort I vowed to myself that I wouldn't tell my new friends about ED stuff, for the simple reason being, I didn't want to be 'that girl'. However realistically, it couldn't be this way because recovery isn't linear and undoubtedly I was going to struggle. I decided to make it a kind of public thing just to help me stay on track. This really hasn't been an issue at all, and has been really useful knowing that other people are in the know and are understanding.

BUT 

The further you get into recovery, the less you want it to be a thing. Obviously my recovery isn't perfect and I do sometimes struggle still, but 98% of the time I am able to manage and maintain my recovery without any real interventions. 

Recently my life has felt like a bit of a shit show, and food stuff slipped a little. Of course, my friends being fab and on the ball picked up on this pretty quickly and spoke with me about it. Generally my main meals haven't been an issue, it's more my snacking etc that I have been finding harder. But once mentioned, I started to sort this out slowly but surely. More of an issue has been mood stuff. but with that obviously has it's connections to hunger and food.

I'm being discharged, and I am so excited, so the most upsetting thing to hear from a friend is "I do not think you are ready to be discharged". SO frustrating. I know I have come so so far, and compared to first year of uni I am doing so amazingly. However I have to remember that my 'new friends' didn't see my at my worst, so anything less than doing great is probably a worry. I do get it. I also get it's because they care, and this is so lush. Get some friends who care about you haha.

I'm not complaining about friends worries and concerns, I just needed to voice my frustration with this part of recovery. I want / need the support, but not to the point where I'm being watched 24/7. I guess I'm just sad that I'm still in the position for people to have concerns. JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AND BE RID OF ED'S.

Your friends love you, they support you, look out for them and thank them even if you don't want to.

Have a lush day,

Dais xo
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