Hello! So today, I want to focus on something
that isn’t really looked at within the media – men with eating disorders.
Despite eating disorders predominantly being associated with women, men
certainly don’t escape them.
I interviewed a friend of mine recently who has suffered with an eating disorder. He happily agreed to share his journey. I really hope that this can maybe bring comfort to someone.
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| Ed - Looking Dashing |
Hi, I’m Ed and I’m a violinist - is that cool? I honestly don’t even know?
When did you first develop your eating disorder?
I think I probably started just before I turned 17 but I really didn’t realise what was going on until I’d developed some really unhealthy and self-destructive habits.
Do you feel there was a particular trigger for your eating disorder?
I can definitely pinpoint a couple of key moments during sixth form that acted as catalysts but I think I’d been struggling for a while before that. For years before that I’d had problems with my perceptions of myself but I don’t feel that it was properly triggered until sixth form.
Did anyone else pick
up on your disordered eating behaviour?
I liked to think that
it was my little secret and that only I knew about, but my mum in particular
picked up on my behavioural changes and spoke to me about it. However, I’m quite a
stubborn person and so I think I just saw what she was saying as a personal
attack.
Did you have any
treatment for your eating disorder?
I went to some
counselling sessions but they really weren’t the right
thing for me at the time. I struggled to discuss the situation that I was
dealing with. I think
I resented myself for admitting that I needed help, but now realise that it
would probably have done me the world of good to continue talking to a
professional.
What was the hardest
part of your recovery journey?
Telling my family
everything that was going on was pretty rough. Not that they weren’t incredibly
supportive but I’d spent the best part of 18 months ‘dealing’ with it all on my
own and so, as you can imagine, it was really quite hard for me.
Asides from that,
Christmas dinner is always a fun one. I love the food, family, the celebration,
the drinks and yet that little voice in your head never takes a day off.
What was the best
support you received during your recovery period?
Probably just having a couple of really close friends who would listen to me
without any judgment, but would also just be there to talk about nothing with. I’d go over to my friends house and just play music and chat
absolute rubbish. That was great for me. It allowed me to feel normal.
I also listen to a
lot of podcasts and there’s one in particular, The Elis James and John Robins
podcast, that often discusses mental health
- ‘the darkness’ as they refer to it - in such a light yet sensitive
way. I think hearing other people talking about their darkness really helped me
to come to terms with what I was going through.
Unfortunately, the
voice of an eating disorder is always there in the back of your head- how do
you stay on top of it now?
That little voice is the bane of my life! It’s definitely a tough one to deal with and sometimes I do have to just put my headphones on and blare my music. I get quite frustrated when it rears up and so I like to try and do something productive - quite often I throw myself into my music or get into the kitchen and cook. It’s an odd one, but I absolutely love cooking and it really centres me to spend a couple of hours in the kitchen with some music or a podcast.
Do you think that there are misconceptions about men with eating disorders?
Definitely! I think that my own misconceptions about eating disorders massively contributed to my downwards spiral. I didn’t really think that men were affected by eating disorders until I got one. I’ve heard people say ‘eating disorders are for girls’ or that blokes who struggle with mental health issues are ‘soft’ and that’s just not the case. Toxic masculinity gets thrown about an awful lot at the moment but I think that for me there was definitely an element of it that prevented me from actually admitting that anything was going on in the first place.
Thank you so much for talking with me today, Ed. Just one last thing, if you could give advice to people struggling with an eating disorder, what would you say?
It’s very easy for me to just say ‘talk to someone’, but it really can help. When I was at my lowest I gave the BEAT Student number a ring and that really made me realise that I wasn’t alone and that help was out there.
Alternatively, get into podcasts.
Thank you so much to Ed for taking time to talk to me about such a sensitive subject!
*On a separate note: Myself and Ed are talking on BBC Radio Solent on Friday about Eating Disorders at around 3pm - please take some time to listen if you're around!*
Please remember to reach out if you need help or support, especially this week while ED's are being talked about a lot.
Be kind, give hugs,
Dais x
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